What’s wrong with Whack-a-Mole? It’s the wrong game, of course, Tepco would prefer we all played Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) instead so that everyone hops around like maniacs to avoid all the radiation.
Or better yet, how about the game of Hide-and-Seek? Where did all the radiation go? It’s hiding! Oh, that’s so much better, thank you!
“From now on, the government will move to the forefront,” uttered Motegi, not realizing he was paraphrasing the anti-government derogatory phrase used in the USA: “We’re from the government, and we’re here to help.”
Because when industry reaches a point of total bureaucratic failure resulting in a global disaster that threatens all life on the planet, everybody knows the obvious solution is to put the government in charge!
The government, you see, can simply pass a new law that says radiation is no longer considered dangerous. In an instant, the entire problem is solved and Japan saves hundreds of billions of dollars in cleanup costs. After all, if Obama can declare America’s jobs disaster to be a “success,” and if doctors can declare methyl mercury injected into children a “vaccine treatment,” then why not allow the Japanese government to declare Fukushima solved?
Better yet, Japan should turn Fukushima into a cancer radiotherapy clinic where Americans can receive “radiation treatments” for cancer, because we all know that radiation prevents cancer, right? That’s what the cancer clinics tell us, anyway.
Fukushima can become the world’s newest medical tourism hot spot for cancer patients. Walk in with cancer and you’ll walk out with so many other symptoms that you won’t even notice the cancer anymore! That’s the miracle of modern medical science. Sponsored by GlaxoSmithKline, of course.
“We have to stop calling these events nuclear disasters,” I’d imagine a Japanese government official uttering any day now. “They are actually nuclear opportunities for job creation,” he’ll probably explain.
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