Feb 12, 2013
I’ve never seen a police force look as pathetic and weak as the LAPD does right now. The entire police force has been thrust into a state of complete terror by the actions of one police officer named Christopher Dorner who allegedly has gone on a cop-killing rampage. According to The Telegraph, “Around 50 LAPD officers and their families remain under protection at their homes amid fears Dorner would come out of hiding to target them…”
Question: do these other cops not know how to fire a gun themselves? Do they not have a shotgun at home for self defense? Can you imagine how pathetic and weak these people are to have fifty police families huddled in their homes, barricading their doors and windows, fearing for their lives because of one mortal man running around?
This is total proof that the LAPD has become a culture of pathetic weaklings who apparently have to cry for their mommas instead of manning up and packing heat. It’s not like there’s an entire terror cell of people armed with AK-47s coming after them. This is one friggin’ lone guy with a gun. This problem is not that difficult to deal with if you actually know how to handle a firearm.
But I suppose it’s some sort of new California political correctness now that even LAPD officers have no idea how to use a firearm to defend themselves. Wow, have the police officers in LA become sissified to the point of being paralyzed with fear? (And if so, why on earth are these people being paid to protect us, ironically, from bad guys with guns?)
LAPD randomly firing at anybody in a blind frenzy of wild incompetence
By the way, as part of the sissified, trigger-happy frenzy we’re all witnessing here, LAPD officers are just shooting up innocent people for no apparent reason. You don’t even have to resemble the suspect to be shot at, amazingly. As IBtimes.com is reporting:
LAPD officers mistakenly opened fire on Emma Hernandez, 71, and her daughter, Margie Carranza, 47, as they were sitting inside their blue Toyota Tacoma. The truck was riddled with bullets, Hernandez was shot twice in the back, and Carranza was injured by broken glass.
The LA Times reports:
Law enforcement sources told The Times that at least seven officers opened fire. On Friday, the street was pockmarked with bullet holes in cars, trees, garage doors and roofs. Residents said they wanted to know what happened. “How do you mistake two Hispanic women, one who is 71, for a large black male?” said Richard Goo, 62, who counted five bullet holes in the entryway to his house.
As the LAPD explains, the truck these women were driving “resembled” the truck of Christopher Dorner and therefore LAPD cops just flat-out OPENED FIRE on the vehicle without even identifying who was driving it! How did it “resemble” Dorner’s truck? Well, it was a truck! That sucker had four wheels and a bed for hauling stuff! Sheee-at!
As the attorney of one of the women driving the truck retorted, “The vehicle is a different color. The license plate doesn’t match. There’s nothing there for you to start shooting people. And even if they had the person in question… Mr. Dorner… you still have to give them an opportunity to get out. You can’t just start administering street justice.”
Oh, but you can if you’re LAPD! Every truck is a legitimate target, regardless of the color or the license plate number. After all, you can’t expect LA cops to pay attention to all those little details like vehicle color or the license plate number or the sex of the driver. I mean, who has time for all that? Heck, just aim and fire! It’s POLICE WORK for God’s sake! Whatever bad happens, they can just explain it all later and settle the lawsuits with taxpayer money, right?
The woman driving the truck, by the way, was shot in the back and nearly killed. She was given “an apology” by the LAPD. Something like this: “We’re really sorry, ma’am, that our officers are total morons who are just as likely to shoot and kill innocent citizens as they are to hit anyone actually resembling a suspect. But then again, you were driving a vehicle, and we were told the suspect was driving a vehicle, so you can see why we had to immediately open fire and SHOOT TO KILL YOU even before identifying who was behind the wheel. So you can’t really blame us. After all, we’re the police, and our bullets leave our guns with good intentions, regardless of what they actually hit.”
LAPD literally trying to KILL Dorner, not arrest him
See the photo of the actual pickup truck on the right. Notice how the bullets were aimed in the “shoot to kill” zone rather than the “shoot to stop the vehicle” zones? They weren’t shooting out the tires here, folks: they were aiming for skulls.
Forget about an arrest: This is an execution effort under way. I can’t help but think there’s got to be a lot of truth to the rumor that Dorner knows too much and could really embarrass LAPD if he is allowed to talk to the press. This manhunt has the urgency of a political execution squad, not an arrest of a murderer. I’m not defending the guy’s actions here, but let’s be honest about this: since when did the LAPD care so much about a murderer on the loose?
Unfortunately for us all, LAPD officers have proven themselves to be trigger-happy morons, and innocent LA citizens are already being caught in the crossfire. It’s getting so bad that black men in LA are wearing “Don’t Shoot Me” T-shirts in the hopes that LAPD cops will hold their fire. This clever ploy will fail, of course, since half the LAPD officers can’t read to begin with. Or they might see the T-shirt at an angle where the word “Don’t” is obscured and only see the words “Shoot Me” in which case they will eagerly comply.
This is getting so bad I’m actually starting to become an advocate of gun control… for the POLICE! Thank goodness these cops don’t carry full-auto weapons like the 7,000 assault rifles DHS has recently ordered, or those women in the pickup truck would be little more than blood stains on the pavement by now. I think we should all lobby Sen. Feinstein to redirect her gun control bill at the LAPD and make them “turn ’em all in” until they can prove they will only shoot at the bad guys instead of random innocent civilians.
Imagine one million armed citizens taking a stand in California
By the way, the bigger story here is that the LAPD has apparently become such a pathetic group of trigger-happy cowards that if an actual shooting war ever broke out between the LAPD and trained, responsible citizens defending justice and liberty, the entire war would be over in five minutes. The citizens could just stand back and watch the LAPD shoot each other to pieces in a mad, chaotic frenzy of flying lead aimed in no particular direction.
I’m almost expecting the LAPD to run around randomly firing their pistols in the air at this point, hoping that one of the bullets might magically strike Dorner in the head on the way back down. It’s no more insane than the department’s currently policy of shooting pickup trucks to pieces in the hopes that maybe, possibly, by some miracle Christopher Dorner might be discovered at the wheel.
I’ve got it! That’s the solution! Simply order the LAPD to shoot at all pickup trucks and kill their drivers until Dorner is found dead. If that doesn’t work, they can expand the mandate to shoot at all sedans, and then motorcycles, and then pedestrians, too… why not? It’s all about “keeping the streets safe at any cost,” right? There’s a cop killer on the loose! To Hell with public safety!
Ever better idea: Why not have the LAPD just drop a nuclear bomb on the city from one of their helicopters just to be sure. After the mushroom cloud clears, they can explain to the remaining news crews that “even if ONE life can be saved by nuking Los Angeles, we have an obligation to try!” (This, by the way, is the same logic Obama offered for nationwide gun confiscation in the aftermath of Sandy Hook.)
After all, there’s a cop killer on the loose, so all logic be damned! Forget about public safety; toss that baby overboard and reload, dammit! Fire! Fire! Fire! And then see if you might have possibly hit Dorner. If not, reload and repeat as often as necessary until the desired corpse appears.
(For the record, this article is obviously satire. Many LAPD officers are wonderful men and women who operate with a high degree of professionalism. If you are one of those people reading this, please maim the other idiots on the force and get them off the streets before they end up killing innocent citizens and making you all look like a very real danger to public safety.)