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Obama’s economic policies explained for Earthlings
Debt multiplication, the quantum multiverse and transdimensional accounting
Nov 9, 2012
In case you haven’t noticed, the U.S. populace — as well as its delusional political leadership — has resigned itself to the intellectual lazy-ism of “Let’s just SPEND our way out of this mess!”
The mind-numbing re-election of President Obama in the wake of trillions of dollars in new debt created by the man is the death knell for fiscal responsibility in the United States of America. Only under Obama does Big Government not only think it can spend money more wisely than the businesses and workers from which it confiscates wealth; it also believes government is so wise and arrogant that it can confidently spend trillions of dollars today which have yet to be confiscated from taxpayers in the future!
This belief in economic time travel is the fairytale fantasy of the self-congratulatory Washington tax-and-spend elite whose cognitive superiority should be self-evident, they insist, by the mere fact that they have graduate degrees from Harvard and Yale. But if these genius decision makers are so smart, you might wonder, why have all the economic problems of America only gotten worse over the last four years?
If things are bad now, just give it a little more time…
The answer, we are led to believe, is that America hasn’t been expanding government quickly enough. That’s what Obama means when he says he needs four more years to “finish his work” in America. As long as there’s still at least one private sector company, entrepreneur or industry that hasn’t been taken over by the giant sucking sound of Big Government, the work of socialism never really is done, is it?
As Lew Rockwell correctly points out, the secret desire of all government parallels that of a cancer tumor: To grow to infinite size, to commandeer all available resources, and to take over the landscape until nothing is left standing other than itself. If anyone anywhere is still making a decision without the boundaries and nannyspeak of Big Government telling them what to do, then the work of Big Government expansion is never quite finished, it seems.
For God’s sake, if some individual or entrepreneur is somehow allowed to make a decision without the limiting framework of regulations, laws and bureaucracy, the very fabric of reality might tear itself apart, requiring the signing of an executive order commanding the reversal of time itself in order to salvage the universe.
And so Big Government marches forward in a sort of strangulation hobble, squeezing the life out of everything in its path and then marveling at “how much work needs to be done” to reverse the devastation it alone has caused. When Obama claimed he needed “for more years” to get the job done for America, his assumption was that his first four years of economic lunacy were moving things in the right direction but just hadn’t been given enough time to “kick in” yet. This is the intellectual equivalent of thinking that if shooting off one your own feet slows your stride, then shooting off the other foot would magically transform you into a world-class triathlete.
If spending four trillion dollars of money — which will, by definition, need to be confiscated from future taxpayers of America — isn’t working, then the obvious answer is to double down on the government roulette wheel and find out what happens when you spend EIGHT trillion dollars!
And if spending eight trillion dollars doesn’t solve health care, banking, education and the environment, then have no fear, my friends: There’s another democrat waiting in line, right behind Obama, who would gladly take the reins and spend sixteen trillion dollars in the subsequent presidential term. Behind that lunatic is another candidate ready to spend thirty-two, then sixty-four trillion, doubling the debt every four years until the golden stairway of good monetary intentions reaches into the shiny, aura-magical Gates of Heaven itself.
Government jobs save the economy!
Debt doesn’t really matter, the lie goes, as long as we just keep spending because — get this – the growth of government is synonymous with growth of the economy.
Only government is so foolishly delusional that it would report the rise in government jobs as evidence the economy is booming. If government is hiring more TSA workers to rifle through more carry-on bags (or even more travelers’ underpants while they’re still being worn by travelers), then by God something good must be happening in the land of the free, mustn’t it? The busy-ness of the bureaucracy is self-evident proof of its own importance in the grand scheme of things, is it not?
Of course, if this were really true, then we could all experience the ecstasy of economic Valhalla by simply resigning ourselves from all private sector activity and signing up for government jobs en masse. This would lead to government existing for the sole purpose of regulating other parts of government… the bureaucracy resuscitating the bureaucracy, if you will, and never mind that sick gurgling sound that grows more faint with each raspy breath.
This is the ultimate goal of not just Obamism, but of every socialist-leaning government throughout world history: A citizen awakens each morning in his government-subsidized house, drives to work in his government-invested vehicle, arrives at his government job, shuffles a sufficient amount of government paperwork to count as productivity for government bean counters, picks up his child in the afternoon from government-run (indoctrination) schools, buys some genetically modified corn-based groceries made affordable only through government subsidies to selected farmers, and then spends his evening enjoying the programming of government-directed television and government-contrived news.
Is this not pure ecstasy for the intellectually lazy? Heck, why bother with the job part of it at all? It’s so much easier — and nearly just as productive — to live on government-funded food stamps which are used to purchase government-approved junk foods via electronic EBT card transactions processed by government-bailed-out banks.
Your dream government is only moments away…
Hold on… Why limit government to only the waking hours, anyway? Why not have government-mandated sleepy-time dreams where dream behavior is regulated, reviewed and approved by a federal “Department of Somnia” which also, cleverly, counts any dream-state activity toward the GDP? In this manner, those who live on government welfare during their waking hours can “earn back” their daytime handouts by, for example, slaving away in a dream-state Nike shoe factory between the non-conscious hours of two and six a.m.
Enron would have adored such an accounting innovation: Growth is realized in the instant it is imagined! What better way to describe the economic genius of modern-day leftist economics? The sheer IDEA of abundance overrides reality simply because it is decreed as such. And if reality refuses to obediently play along with the desirable economic fairytale, it can simply be killed and resurrected over and over again much like Osama Bin Laden, the proverbial “Weekend at Bernie’s” corpse with a thousand and one uses.
And heck, why limit the genius of Obamanomics to only dream-state activities? Why not invoke the spooky world of the quantum multiverse which physicists say exists as an infinite number of standalone universes, each of which expresses every possible outcome of every life of every conscious being alive today? “In another parallel universe, I work for a living” would be the trendy new line of reasoning for Obama’s ever-expanding class of welfare recipients. “The laws of quantum physics say I am contributing to society in another slice of reality.”
Government economic statistics, therefore, should take into account the efforts, imaginary or otherwise, of workers in ALL realms, not just the one we think of as “reality.” And if economic activity is taking place in an infinite number of parallel universes, then shouldn’t that count as income for the purposes of establishing a whole new line of wealth-multiplying derivates that we might call “quantum wealth instruments?”
Don’t give Ben Bernanke any such ideas, lest he actually threaten to try them. The economic destruction of our own universe is enough damage for now, I’d say. No need to go borrowing money against the future productivity of 10 to the nth dimensions, too.
Introducing your multidimensional President!
Unless of course you entertain the idea that Barack Obama is a multidimensional being with the God-like power of being able to teleport into a dimension where the economy doesn’t suck, grab a few amazing ideas and return to deposit them in our own universe… via the Oval Office which is of course the Stargate portal to the center of the multiverse.
No doubt many of his followers would acknowledge such god-like powers as already being possessed by the man — an idea which is irreconcilable with the realization that Obama must therefore be “holding back” because he hasn’t magically transformed our world into that seductive, feel-good mirage that was promised during the campaign and which might as well have been suspended in the air right in front of the black box voting machines, holding out the promise that if you just click the box beside the name Obama, salvation can soon be yours.
Our savior, Obama, who art in Heaven, is a multidimensional time traveler with economic policies of such otherworldly genius that we Earthly beings just haven’t been able to grasp the brilliance of it all yet.
And for that, we need just four more years, didn’t you know?
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