Once Upon a Time

Go to sleep and don’t have any bad conspiracy theory dreams
Once Upon a Time

Image Credits: Federal Emergency Management Agency via Wikimedia Commons

by David Hathaway | LewRockwell.com | June 4, 2014


This story is fiction. Once upon a time, there was an FBI Agent, Bob, and an ATF Agent, Sam, that didn’t know each other. They worked miles apart. But, they both were good little feds and they read their agencies’ marching orders and watched the controlled media to know who they should be targeting.

The FBI Agent, Bob, decided that he could get recognition by targeting militias and white supremacist groups. He didn’t know any, so he hired a guy off the street, Tommy, who in turn hired a paid unwitting flunky underling, to go with him to, um, Arkansas to the small town of Eloy City where people supposedly wanted to be left alone. It was slim pickings in that town until he met a guy, John, who also wanted to talk tough about blowing things up. This guy would be a great target. This guy talked as tough as Tommy did. Tommy could keep the federal gravy train coming his way and FBI Bob could write lots of fancy reports to get promotions.

The ATF Agent, Sam, decided that he could get recognition by targeting militias and white supremacist groups. He didn’t know any, so he hired a guy off the street, John, who in turn hired a paid unwitting flunky underling, to go with him to, um, Arkansas to the small town of Eloy City where people supposedly wanted to be left alone. It was slim pickings in that town until he met a guy, Tommy, who also wanted to talk tough about blowing things up. This guy would be a great target. This guy talked as tough as John did. John could keep the federal gravy train coming his way and ATF Sam could write lots of fancy reports to get promotions.

One day, Tommy reported to FBI Bob that target John wanted to see if Tommy was legit in his desire to blow things up. He had asked Tommy to provide the detonators and boosters to blow up some ANFO if John, in turn, provided the Ammonia fertilizer for the explosion. FBI Bob thought that getting John to accept FBI-funded blasting caps and Kine-Stick boosters would be a great way to get John to “commit an overt act in the furtherance of a criminal conspiracy.” Bob got approval and money for Tommy to obtain the detonator items in order to further the investigation.

One day, John reported to ATF Sam that target Tommy wanted to see if John was legit in his desire to blow things up. He had asked John to provide the Ammonia fertilizer to blow up some ANFO if Tommy, in turn, provided the detonators and boosters for the explosion. ATF Sam thought that getting Tommy to accept ATF-funded Ammonia fertilizer would be a great way to get Tommy to “commit an overt act in the furtherance of a criminal conspiracy.” Sam got approval and money for John to obtain the fertilizer in order to further the investigation.

John got the fertilizer and Tommy got the detonators and they went out to the desert to try to blow it up. They tried and they tried and they tried. It wouldn’t blow up. Then, ATF Sam told John, “Look you moron, you bought the wrong kind of ammonia fertilizer. This stuff won’t blow up. You bought ammonium sulfate fertilizer with our money instead of ammonium nitrate. You can’t do anything right. I will take care of this and make sure you have the right stuff. We must deliver the correct fertilizer to him at some point so that federal prosecutors will be able to prove a criminal conspiracy.”

So, ATF Sam went to his bosses and got approval for a “controlled delivery” (monitored movement) of ammonium nitrate fertilizer. ATF Sam assisted John this time and paid him again to get the fertilizer so that there would be no more mix-ups. ATF Sam made sure that it was the real deal and it would explode. ATF Sam got a team of agents to follow the multi-ton shipment of fertilizer after they followed John and Tommy to purchase it on multiple occasions. After John and Tommy had enough fertilizer, ATF Sam told the surveillance team, “Don’t follow too close or you will mess up my investigation. Don’t let them know you are following or Tommy will get suspicious that you are cops and abandon the whole plan.”

Before obtaining the fertilizer, John and ATF Sam agreed that John would not be able to call in and talk to ATF Sam for a while since he would be around criminal target Tommy 24 hours a day working out the details of bomb making and getting evidence against him. It would be suspicious if John left Tommy so he could make a phone call and check in with ATF Sam. John would check in with ATF Sam later on and give him a full report about Tommy’s bomb-making activities.

Before obtaining the fertilizer, Tommy and FBI Bob agreed that Tommy would not be able to call in and talk to FBI Bob for a while since he would be around criminal target John 24 hours a day working out the details of bomb making and getting evidence against him. It would be suspicious if Tommy left John so he could make a phone call and check in with FBI Bob. Tommy would check in with FBI Bob later on and give him a full report about John’s bomb-making activities.

Soon, the team of ATF surveillance agents got bored and lost track of the load of ammonium nitrate and lost track of John and Tommy. Other agents from other Treasury agencies (this fairy tale happens while ATF was still in the Treasury Department and not in the Justice Department as they are now) were called in from multiple states to assist in locating the “lost” load of ammonium nitrate in the hands of some mad bomber.

Tommy and John continued to have a good old time talking tough to each other about blowing things up. After they had obtained the right kind of fertilizer with ATF money, they went to the desert to test it to see if it was the right stuff to pin a bombing conspiracy on each other. They managed to blow up some ATF ANFO out in the boonies using FBI detonators after they had been advised and trained appropriately by their ATF and FBI handlers regarding how to carry out a bombing conspiracy.

Both Tommy and John were secretly quite pleased with the willing moron they had hooked on the line. There would be a great payday at the end of this mission. They could hardly contain their glee as they tried to not reveal to each other the cartoonish dollar signs in their eyes.

As D-Day approached, Tommy tried repeatedly to contact FBI Bob. Frantic messages were left when he couldn’t get an answer. The well-conspired and well-discussed D-Day was then at hand. Tommy and his personal flunky had to keep their scheduled meeting with John for the big takedown or the whole investigation would be for naught. Tommy and John were pretty sure that their respective surveillance teams would be hiding at the target location ready to pounce when the truck rolled up indicating that full evidence had been obtained against their targeted evil bomber.

On D-day, Tommy and his flunky waited in the truck away from the target location ready for the arrival of John to complete the conspiracy. The takedown would be imminent when the cargo was delivered to the target location with John holding the bag red-handed. John didn’t show up but, sent his flunky for a stand-in. John had paid this “unwitting” provocateur with his federally-provided funds to stand in for him on D-Day. John knew that the cavalry would be swooping in at the pre-arranged target location and would arrest everyone and he preferred to not be around. There would be no point in John being there for all the commotion. John’s unwitting stand-in, let’s call him John Number Two, would be let off the hook when John explained to ATF Sam, after the bust, that John Number Two was part of the good guys’ team, although unknowingly. John was sure that the cavalry would be there like clockwork and that all the last minute adjustments would be unimportant moot points.

When Tommy and John Number Two approached the pre-arranged location, Tommy thought it would be best to get out of the truck and meet his own flunky getaway driver and leave so that he wouldn’t be roughed up by the arrest team. The arrest team could figure out later what happened to John Number One. After all, things don’t always go as planned. There was a truck full of evidence to pin on John Number One. It would only be a matter of time until they found him. He made sure John Number Two knew about the plan so that two culpable defendants would be delivered on a platter for twice the payday.

And since this is a fairy tale, everyone lived happily ever after except for the bad guys who had their eyes pecked out by birds. Now go to sleep and don’t have any bad conspiracy theory dreams.


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