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Satire: Alex Jones to Advise Bilderberg Group
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The Spoof
February 13, 2008
Radio talk show host Alex Jones will take on an advisory role with the Bilderberg Group, it was announced today.
Jones informed a stunned audience of his decision during one of his radio broadcasts. He surprised listeners last week when he said that he would retire from talk radio.
“Look, I know what you’re thinking,” Jones told his listeners. “You sort of get the impression that I’m going to be cavorting around Bohemian Grove with globalist fascist pigs, la-di-da and all chummy chummy like — but that’s not the case. We’re sort of like The Odd Couple. We agree to disagree.”
One listener called in to ask what possible good Jones could do by working with the Bilderberg Group.
“When I work with the Bilderbergers,” Jones explained. “I’ll recommend that they take a more kinder, gentler approach to running the world; one that’s less into global domination of the planet and more into the thousand points of light thing.”
Sir Archibald Wingate, Bilderberg’s High Commissioner for Global Policy, explained how Jones would help them improve their image.
“Mr. Jones is an excellent acquisition for us,” Wingate said. “He brings to the table legions of dedicated followers who, up until this point, have hated us without understanding our methods. Alex will help them see that we’re not all bad people. He has already recommended that we stop trying to depopulate the planet as a means to improve our image with the great unwashed.”
Wingate went on to explain that both sides will benefit from the arrangement.
“As part of our agreement,” he said. “Mr. Jones will be allowed to sneak back into Bohemian Grove so he can film a higher-quality exposé — provided he doesn’t attempt to film the human sacrifice, nor the cremation of corn food fight after the homosexual group orgy.”
Joshua Finkelstein, an emeritus professor of political science who taught for 35 years at Pokeewah University in Michigan’s upper peninsula — and who recently learned that Alex Jones was fighting the New World Order — agrees that this makes sense.
“This arrangement will seem strange to some at first,” Finkelstein said. “But Alex knows what he is doing. If you’ll remember your history, it was only Nixon who could go to China.”
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February 13th, 2008 at 8:44 am
provided he doesn’t attempt to film the human sacrifice, nor the cremation of corn food fight after the homosexual group orgy
Yes yes, we can allow them to see this!! HAHA nice one Alex, needed a good laugh on a bad weds morning!
February 13th, 2008 at 8:45 am
Alex Jones is leaving the kook movement? Say it aint so! Who are the loons going to idolize? Kevin Barrett? Jim Fetzer? the crazy guy at Ground Zero every Saturday?
February 13th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Look 2 fools believe this SPOOF report, “Laughing at 911″ & “Ian”
Dummies
February 13th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Scobman aint too bright. My instinct tells me that he thinks a missle hit the Pentagon.
February 13th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Laughing at 9/11 Inside Job Nuts
He is the true “STRAW MAN”
February 13th, 2008 at 9:06 am
Laughing at 9/11 Inside Job Nuts
I’d whoop your ass boy.
February 13th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Apparently some people don’t know what a “satire” is LOL!
February 13th, 2008 at 9:13 am
I shouldn’t say things about people with down syndrome, Im sorry LAUGHING AT 911 NUTZ, …NOT !!!!!
February 13th, 2008 at 9:14 am
haha nice… but wouldn’t it be great if it were true… even a single day with Alex Jones actually inside a meeting would be enough time to gather so much information!
matt Reply:
February 14th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
nah that would be terrible thats the point of the satire lol.. he would be disinfo shill proven..
idk doesnt it seem a little suspicious he was able to sneak in to the grove??
February 13th, 2008 at 9:15 am
Still need a job TROY?
Obama is looking for a new Limo driver. lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVeFVtcdSYY
February 13th, 2008 at 9:17 am
So is Alex just doing this so he can have access to these secret meetings and know what is REALLY going on behind the scenes?
February 13th, 2008 at 9:28 am
You know what they say, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer!”
Alex, be careful and don’t turn to the dark side!!!! We will be praying for you here in Austin!!!!
February 13th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Funny. Everything is a joke. Smirk and smile. Let’s stop talking falsely now, the hour is getting late….
February 13th, 2008 at 9:35 am
ALEX JONES is only one among thousands of journalists,historians who have been exposing this seek occultists ,so if you want to live in fantasy world that’s fine with me,but you can’t dissmis the FACT,that they exict and they gonna create more and more chaos and fear to push their agenda of NWO foeward!!!For special stupid people advise–google the second book written by Hitler,it’s called “NEW WORLD ORDER”.I have nothing more to say!!!
February 13th, 2008 at 9:44 am
satire, people. satire! it’s a joke.
February 13th, 2008 at 10:02 am
LOL……..:)
Like Jones said…”You just can’t put purfume on that pig”!
ROLF
February 13th, 2008 at 10:13 am
AND A FREEMASON IN EVERY HOUSE.
February 13th, 2008 at 10:40 am
Alex Jones becoming part of BilderBerg Group, thus retiring from radio hosting. “provided he doesn’t attempt to film the human sacrifice, nor the cremation of corn food fight after the homosexual group orgy”
He’s going to be allowed to “SNEAK” in. What load of crap is this, NEXT you will see a documentary showing this is a grownup boyscout camp.
Way to SELL OUT AJ, BB’er. I will begin to spread the word “His followers will give us a better image, it has already happened look here—> Even JOE SHMOE says so.
matt Reply:
February 14th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
ITS A JOKE STUPID
February 13th, 2008 at 10:48 am
I wouldn’t want to know WHAT they’re doing in hell
NO WAY I would EVER accept anything like this
so Bye Bye Alex, I put you on top of a long list of those whom
I WILL NEVER trust anymore
don’t even think anymore of trying to convince me of anything else
I only trust in God
Wouter Joseph Smekens
I’m still NOT one of them
matt Reply:
February 14th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
“provided he doesn’t attempt to film the human sacrifice, nor the cremation of corn food fight after the homosexual group orgy”
HOW ARE YOU TAKING THAT SERIOUSLY?? LOL u need to develop some better reading comprehension skills
February 13th, 2008 at 10:56 am
I don’t know how dumbed down you folks had a bad education system in America… but wow. If you didn’t notice the word SATIRE at the beginning of the article… Y’all should check out a dictionary and get a tutor. It means that this is a joke article.
February 13th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Hello….
This is satire people.
February 13th, 2008 at 11:08 am
CAN I HAVE CHEESE ON THAT BILDERBURGER?? MUAHAHAHAHAHAA!!
February 13th, 2008 at 11:12 am
*Shakes head*
I hadn’t expected lulz from the comments as well.Here’s an idea: building a movement to change the world and educate people about their natural rights takes work, but can also be exhilarating and energizing, and maybe there’ll even be a couple of laughs and some camaraderie. It’s false and damaging to try and portray it as all drudgery and rage. Pro tip: look up ’satire’. Then look up ‘Voltaire’. l8r
February 13th, 2008 at 11:14 am
wow ummmmm does this make sense
matt Reply:
February 14th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
joke
February 13th, 2008 at 11:14 am
This is classic. The ones that are enlightened and so educated on facts, fall for another one. They will believe ANYTHING this guys says without even thinking about it. Most of them probably don’t even know what satire means, but they could have started this off with, THIS IS A JOKE. IT IS NOT TRUE, and the minute AJ opens his mouth, the brainwashing trigger kicks on and they soak it up.
Wow, this MADE MY DAY!
February 13th, 2008 at 11:22 am
If readers don’t get the joke, especially with it spelled out, they’re obviously too stupid to fight for my freedom.
But I like to believe those numbers of numbskulls are miniscule (that means small).
February 13th, 2008 at 11:39 am
To all those who actually thought Alex’s betrayal was bad you should check out all the stories the mainstream media don’t want you to see on the Onion. It’s the best muckraking journalism out there.
/sarcasm off
February 13th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Luckyone, miniscul, is that where midgets, er, I mean little people go to learn?
A dictionary goes along way folks, it is a good idea if you are going to argue something, that you have some grasp of the english language.
February 13th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
OMG ALEX THEY GOT OYU OMG DUDE ALEX NOO MAN THE GOT TO YOU … DONT WORRY IT WONT B I VAIN
February 13th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I know there are alot of thick people out there so I just want to make sure everyone understands this is a joke. Alex is not going to be an adviser to the bilderberg.
February 13th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
SATIRE: 1. n. the use of irony, sarcasm and humour to make a subject ridiculous and to make fun of it; 2. a novel, story, etc. in which this is done.
im pretty sure these people declaring their amazement at Alex Jones joining the Bilderberg group are actually trolls, i think that anone who listens to the AJ is inteligent enough to distinguish the difference between what the government says and physics (i.e. th government say the towers fell due to structural damage but they fell with almost no resistance, Newtons Law of Falling bodies says this is impossible) so they have to know what satire is.
but then again, you may of been through the US education system.
February 13th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
alex , will you still come visit us at the fema camps ? were gunna miss yah buddy
February 13th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
There is a massive conspiracy in the United States to limit the number of people who vote before the election is held, then, with turnout sometimes as low as 30%, they can easily rig the results.
We do not know how many people really do NOT VOTE, but it is at least 100 million, and possibly more like 150 million people. Go to the silentmajority08 on myspace or go to voteforpeace0100 at justin TV for more information. More than half the country willingly does not vote, and look what we end up with. We need to change this, NOW.
February 13th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
SATIRE: 1. n. the use of irony, sarcasm and humour to make a subject ridiculous and to make fun of it; 2. a novel, story, etc. in which this is done.
February 13th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I refuse to particpate in teh fraud.
February 13th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Quit with the bad satire, its scary.
February 13th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
God bless u, always remember that u are representing the poor people not only in the usa but around the world…
February 13th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
HOLY CRAP!!! How many times must it be explained…. THIS IS A JOKE! ITS NOT REAL!! Slashdot.org does this sort of thing every april fools day… they put up fake stories to lighten the mood – exactly the same thing has happened here. This is why I usually refuse to post any sort of joke in any discussion forum – because too many people don’t realize it’s a joke, even after it has been explained to them as such.
February 13th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
When we lose the ability to laugh at ourselves, that is the sign that we have become either A)Sanctimonious, B)Fanatics, or C)Hierophants of whatever order. Therefore, it is very good that you have posted this. It is good also that we avoid taking ourselves too seriously, even though indeed the various causes we fight for are painfully serious. Humor provides a kind of suspension system to the mind, which helps it deal with all of the bumps on the road and broadsides from our enemies. Also if we lose our sense of humor, we suffer immediately becoming just like our opponents.
February 14th, 2008 at 9:01 am
How bout this one for a dream team… Alex and Bill serving Hitlery on the same PR team… think of the possibilities.
February 14th, 2008 at 10:02 am
I appreciate the attempt at humor, but this is just plain not funny.
I knew the Onion.
The Onion was as friend of mine.
You are not The Onion.
February 14th, 2008 at 10:54 am
WTF! okay ill admitt we dont know the whole story but i just dont get it. alex you talked about bilderberg being so horible for so long and all of a sudden youre going to advise them. im just curious to know whats up cause right now it sounds pretty fishy. im not bashing you i think youre a pretty good reporter. just explain!
February 14th, 2008 at 10:56 am
lol nice!!! playing along!
February 14th, 2008 at 11:23 am
buildyerburger?Is that like burgerking?
February 14th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Justin don’t be alarmed. It is satire (joke). It is not that funny really but I do appreciate the attempt at humor. It made me half smile for a second in places.
February 14th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
sounds plausible
February 14th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
alex jones is a fucking sell out, its obvious to see they just bought him. Whats next advising bust on how to be a more truthful dictator
February 14th, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Huh? Alex works for Builderberg now? Oh well. I guess i’ll just work on bumping my credit score up, finish the second coat of paint on my white picket fence, work on the point 5 of my 2.5 children, name the dog “spot”, refinance my track home with the plastic lawn, attend the 501c3 tax exempt grain feed sheeple steeple every Sun worship day, fill all my free time with a slew of family functions, pass out in the recliner in front of the idiot box while i’m waiting for “Jane” to come home from her 12 hour a day corporate job, and whack off later to some high definition internet porn, while my kids read comic books about the UN “peace keeping” super heroes.
February 14th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
First of all, Fuck Illumination, you missed the word ’satire’ in the headline. Secondly, the illuminati aren’t really illuminated in the true sense of the word, they are lost in darkness. In the end they will trip and fall, I just hope we live through it!
February 14th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
Alex Wouldn`t it be really odd that Sir Archibald really promised you immortalty for your soul.I`am sure I`am on a shit list somewhere just like you.i know this movement must happen.It`s your destiny.But there is no sugar coating it.i know it`s a heavy burden.They knew there would be a resistants.Don`t get discouraged because the population is numb.
February 14th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
At one time ALEX,that I wondered why your site remains on the internet.At one time I thought that you were a plant,so there would be a fight.Reasure me that this site remains because THEY want it to.Tell me that this is your destiny and that you will never give up.As we slowly creep into Marshal Law,and that final blow happens,you will still be here.As long as we have electricity at the time.Talk to me Man.The time is now.
February 14th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
WHAT?!?! I can believe this!! Alex sold out!!??! What does this mean? What about Ron Paul? What does this mean for the movement? Shit. Alex, you’ve got to stay true. What was all that talk about being made in the image of the Creator of the universe? So what’d they do? The NWO waved some money in front of you and then you went to the dark side?
February 14th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
DUDE!!!!!!! It’s fucking SATIRE!!!!!! Hello!!!!!????? Do you know what satire is? Wait a minute, are you guys being sarcastic too? Ahhhh…. fuck it.
February 15th, 2008 at 10:04 am
This is how SATIN works , they want to be your friend , so they can CHANGE you, so you can come back and feel like your betraying them,and your trying to convince us. INFILTRATION!!!!!!
February 15th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Hellllooooo? Guys, this is SATIRE… It’s not real… It’s a joke.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
This seems like a stupid article to put on this site without some kind of rebuttlal and any of you whining about the end being near it could be tommorow it could a million years the stories youve learned are alot older than you prob think.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
‘IF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE’ Ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency,first by inflation,then by deflation, the banks… will deprive people of all the property until their children wake up homeless on the continent there fathers conquered..The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people,to whom it properly belongs!
PRESIDENT THOMAS JEFFERSON. Check out http://www.fdrs.org
February 15th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
I can’t believe Alex joined the dark side. What are we gonna do now?
February 15th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
some people can’t read…. I think you should do a similar article about Ron Paul being invited to join the CFR.
?
February 15th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Im not too sure i am in the mood for jokeing and satire any more….I pray that tomarrow i can pick my head up outa my own puke long enough to have a chuckle or two….but not today….
Today i almost got the cops called on me for standing between a nurse with a dripping needle and my grand son….silly bitch….doesnt she know that the most dangerous place in the world is that space between a pissed off, informed, Grand Mother and Her baby?….I won too….for today i won….Thank You God
February 17th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
yeah i just looked up what satire means and it means its a joke , for a swcond there i thought alex joined the dark side.
February 17th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
oops i miss spelled second
March 28th, 2008 at 9:18 am
I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS. ALEX IS A TRATOR AND A SO CALLED ILLUMINATED ONE!!!!!!HE IS SCUM!!!!!!!
March 29th, 2008 at 4:26 am
Ok, egg on my face, i was wrong. oops ill read the artcal propely next time.sorry alex!!!
March 31st, 2008 at 8:34 am
just wanted to say i am stupid andamrealy sorry about whet i said!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 31st, 2008 at 8:39 am
mybad, but i am english, and we dont have satire in our dictonarys!!!!!! how was i suposed to know!!!!!!!!!!!
March 31st, 2008 at 8:41 am
i spelt i am realy wrong!!!! cant do anything right, can i!!!!!!!!!?????
April 1st, 2008 at 5:49 am
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!I SPELLT SPELLT WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!