Ethan A. Huff
June 20, 2013
Desperate to make a comeback in the mobile phone market, technology giant Motorola, which is now owned by Big Brother spying shill Google, has developed a few solutions to a problem that does not actually even exist: the “chore” of having to type in a short passcode to access your locked cell phone. Yes, Motorola thinks this split-second step is somehow too laborious for the average consumer, and has thus come up with two potential new methods of accessing “smart phones” that involve either tattooing yourself with an electronic bar code or swallowing a pill that contains a small microchip.
Motorola unveiled the new technology at the recent AllThingsD conference, which showcases all the latest digital advancements in the development pipeline. As reported by DailyTech.com, Motorola CEO Dennis Woodside unveiled a small rubber stamp tattoo at the conference that the company hopes will one day replace having to type in a smart phone password. According to reports, the small stamp, which contains flexible electronic circuits, can be scanned by a smart phone to gain instant access.
“Motorola’s tattoos have already been developed by MC10, a Massachusetts-based engineering firm,” explains DailyTech.com. “Instead of punching in passwords, users just place their smart phones close to their tattoos for verification.”
Motorola also wants you to swallow microchip drugs to access your smartphone
But why stop at tattoos when you can also incorporate drugs into the mix? You read that right. Motorola is also in the process of developing a once-daily drug pill that people can take to access their smart phones without having to type in a password. The pill, known officially as Proteus Digital Health, transmits signals from your digestive tract to your smart phone for instant access without a password.
“Users would take a pill by mouth, and the pill would create an individual signal that would be picked up by their smart phone,” adds DailyTech.com, noting that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has already approved the drug for use. “The computer chip within the pill would be powered by a battery using the user’s stomach acid.”
Ironically, the amount of time it takes to pop the pill, not to mention the effort required to remember to take it every day, is far more arduous than simply tapping a few spots on your phone screen prior to use. But why let reason get in the way of technological “progress,” especially when such “progress” stands to generate billions of dollars in new revenues for completely useless technologies?
“Authentication is irritating,” says Regina Dugan, Senior Vice President of Advanced Research at Motorola, about the “hassle” of having to unlock a smart phone. “Having the boldness to think differently about problems that everybody has every day is really important for Motorola now.”
Nice try, Ms. Dugan. But the fact of the matter is that typing in a security code on a smart phone is not actually a “problem,” at least not for the tens of millions of normal Americans who do it every day without issue. But go ahead, be our guest. Get that nice little tattoo and swallow those pills and pretend that you are solving the world’s problems one privacy-invading step at a time.
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