In a new interview with Rolling Stone Magazine, rapper Nicki Minaj openly discussed her decision to have an abortion, a choice that she says has “haunted me all my life.”

While attending the prestigious LaGuardia Performing Arts High School in New York and dating an older man from Queens, Minaj discovered she was pregnant. “I was a teenager,” Minaj says. “I thought I was going to die.”

Now a multi-platinum superstar, Minaj says her decision to abort “was the hardest thing I’d ever gone through.” She’s still pro-choice though, explaining that at the time “I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have anything to offer a child.”

In “The Pinkprint,” an album critics have called her most personal work yet, Minaj raps about the decision. On the track “All Things Go,” she mourns that “my child with Aaron would’ve been 16 any minute.”

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