A cafe in Germany is making customers wear swimming pool noodle ‘social distancing’ hats while another in Maryland is using “bumper tables” that look like something you’d see in a kindergarten.

Welcome to your new normal.

Cafe & Konditorei Rothe in Schwerin is telling customers they can only use its facilities if they agree to wear straw hats taped with swimming pool noodles.

And after breathing up into and touching the hats for a couple of hours, they’re then passed on to the next customer. Genius. That’s sure to lower the risk of infection.

“We never thought it’d come to this. But, if that’s the price of enjoying a sunshine pint in 2020, you can bet we’ll oblige,” reported the Manc. “After a few beers you’d probably want to try on a hat like this, anyway…”

No thanks, I’d rather not humiliate myself to pay lip service to a lockdown which will end up killing more people than coronavirus.

Meanwhile, in Maryland, a restaurant “intends to use bumper tables to keep customers six feet apart once it begins to take seated diners.”

The tables look like something you’d find in a child’s play area at McDonalds.

Why not just seat us all in 6 meter apart baby high chairs and have done with it?

Respondents weren’t too enthusiastic.

This once again illustrates how “social distancing” is just a ruse for making people engage in all kinds of absurd behavior just to be able to function in society.

We were told it was necessary for a limited time to “get back to normal,” now we’re being told that this unrepentant cringe is our new normal – forever.

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