Jon Bowne
April 10, 2014

His Lord and Majesty Barack Obama arrived moments ago. All taxpaying riffraff were corralled far from his eminence, regardless of the fact that the Constitution states Freedom of The Press and designates all of the land as public.

The stormtrooper police only had meager threats about unleashing the feared secret service on us if we didn’t comply.

His holiness is in Austin to honor Former President LBJ’s signing of The Civil Rights Act.

LBJ had this to say right after signing history into law: “These Negroes, they’re getting pretty uppity these days and that’s a problem for us since they’ve got something now they never had before, the political pull to back up their uppityness. Now we’ve got to do something about this, we’ve got to give them a little something, just enough to quiet them down, not enough to make a difference.”

President Lyndon Baines Johnson was recorded on a White House tape conversation claiming, “I’ll have them ni#$ers voting Democratic for the next two hundred years.”

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