The Spoof
February 13, 2008

Radio talk show host Alex Jones will take on an advisory role with the Bilderberg Group, it was announced today.

Jones informed a stunned audience of his decision during one of his radio broadcasts. He surprised listeners last week when he said that he would retire from talk radio.

“Look, I know what you’re thinking,” Jones told his listeners. “You sort of get the impression that I’m going to be cavorting around Bohemian Grove with globalist fascist pigs, la-di-da and all chummy chummy like — but that’s not the case. We’re sort of like The Odd Couple. We agree to disagree.”

One listener called in to ask what possible good Jones could do by working with the Bilderberg Group.

“When I work with the Bilderbergers,” Jones explained. “I’ll recommend that they take a more kinder, gentler approach to running the world; one that’s less into global domination of the planet and more into the thousand points of light thing.”

Sir Archibald Wingate, Bilderberg’s High Commissioner for Global Policy, explained how Jones would help them improve their image.

“Mr. Jones is an excellent acquisition for us,” Wingate said. “He brings to the table legions of dedicated followers who, up until this point, have hated us without understanding our methods. Alex will help them see that we’re not all bad people. He has already recommended that we stop trying to depopulate the planet as a means to improve our image with the great unwashed.”

Wingate went on to explain that both sides will benefit from the arrangement.

“As part of our agreement,” he said. “Mr. Jones will be allowed to sneak back into Bohemian Grove so he can film a higher-quality exposé — provided he doesn’t attempt to film the human sacrifice, nor the cremation of corn food fight after the homosexual group orgy.”

Joshua Finkelstein, an emeritus professor of political science who taught for 35 years at Pokeewah University in Michigan’s upper peninsula — and who recently learned that Alex Jones was fighting the New World Order — agrees that this makes sense.

“This arrangement will seem strange to some at first,” Finkelstein said. “But Alex knows what he is doing. If you’ll remember your history, it was only Nixon who could go to China.”

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