Skynet factories to churn out test tube beef
August 6, 2013
The era of robotic, factory-produced test tube hamburger meat is nearly here. Yesterday, the first stem-cell-grown hamburger “meat patty” was grilled up and consumed by taste testers who declared it edible. The burger cost $332,000 to “grow” in test tubes, a project spearheaded by vascular biologist Mark Post of Maastricht University, reports The Guardian.
That’s one expensive burger, of course, but it’s only the first step in developing the technology to mass-produce stem cell meat using robotic “Skynet” factories instead of cows. The idea is to have automated factories churning out stem cell beef patties at lower cost and without the need for real animals to roam around eating grass and farting methane into the atmosphere — a phenomenon that horrifies global warming alarmists.
Animal rights groups are also applauding the idea, as growing meat in factories doesn’t require the slaughter of live, conscious animals who feel pain and experience extreme torture during the slaughtering process. But it does require the stem cell meat be continuously bathed in a “nutrient fluid” similar to mammal blood, bringing back images of the human pods in The Matrix. Where, exactly, are the Skynet beef factories going to get all these “nutrient fluids?”
Hamburger of the future: 5% stem cells, 95% genetically modified filler
The average hamburger consumer is utterly clueless about all this, as they don’t give a squat what’s in their “beef” patties in the first place.
As previous research has shown, the actual meat content in today’s fast food hamburgers ranges from just 2% – 15%. So it’s not like burger munchers are eating much cow meat in the first place.
This means an actual fast food hamburger served up in the year 2025 might contain 5% stem cell meat and 95% GMO filler ingredients (including MSG, chemical additives, artificial flavors, GMO soy protein, etc.), all served up by a police state Orwellian robot “food enforcer” named the Bloomburgernator.
Will stem cell beef put cattle ranchers out of business?
Cattle ranchers, of course, don’t realize this era of “post-cow beef” is rapidly approaching. The idea that factories can create meat without using animals is potentially a death sentence to the cattle industry. (And maybe even a death sentence for humans who eat the stem cell meat, as you can bet it will be genetically modified and laced with chemicals.)
Real beef from real cows won’t entirely disappear in all this, of course. There will always be a market for “real beef” from living cows, even if it might become a rare and expensive specialty item. Cows are also really, really good at turning value-less scrubland into a marketable food commodity. No other animal can graze otherwise useless lands and produce such high market value. That’s why real cows will always have a place in the economies of Wyoming, Utah, Texas, New Mexico, Colorado and all the Great Plains states, no matter how many stem cell soylent green factories come on line.
Beef by Skynet… coming soon!
Don’t hold your breath hoping to get a job working at the stem cell beef factory… they’re all going to be run by robots!
It’s just what we need, eh? Skynet beef, combining all the humanitarian compassion of the processed food industry with the loving touch of DARPA-funded humanoid robots. Check out the video below to learn more about the “rise of the machines” that will accompany the rise of “Skynet beef.”